On the Billionaire's Charity Circuit

Good morning, Live Better than a Billionaire-a-Holics!

Yesterday's Wall Street Journal chronicled the red hot competition between Napa, California and Naples, Florida for the billionaires' charity dollars. It seems that Napa has offered the class act in charity wine auctions for years, raising millions.

But Naples fund-raisers developed a case of status envy and wanted to knock off Napa. Organizers secretly studied the Napa event and discovered that the emperor had no clothes: That auction was allowing people who weren't very rich to attend. Now how can a self-respecting billionaire be expected to mix with people who are merely willing to pay $2,500 a couple to have dinner and sit through a six hour auction? What's worse? The billionaires were expected to ride on buses from event to event. Now, that was the last straw.

Naples knew better. They upped the ante to $5,000 a couple and disinvited people who weren't ultra rich. Otherwise, a company might pay the tariff just to send a financial services sales person to the event. Heaven forbid that a billionaire meet a sales person!

The Naples people also knew that billionaires don't like to jostle with the hoi polloi. So each couple was transported from event to event in their own chauffeured limousine. Otherwise, the billionaires might have to talk to each other.

The Naples event zoomed past the Napa one. Soon, vintners were jetting across the country in Gulfstreams to tout their wines in south Florida rather than at the gate to Napa Valley (where fine wines are actually produced).

But Napa struck back with Hollywood dazzle. Jay Leno was hired to open the auction, and Robert Mondavi modeled a sports jacket made out of wine corks. And a bit part in the television series "Desperate Housewives" sold twice for a total of $580,000. Despite their desperate acts, Napa still fell short. I guess the craving for attention in California just doesn't quite match the desire for privacy for your charity-minded billionaire.

As I reflected on these events, I realized first of all that I would find it terribly boring to attend either of these events. Also, I wouldn't pay a nickel for a bit part on "Desperate Housewives". And here's a personal revelation: I don't drink wine. I suddenly appreciated my non-billionaire status in a new way. I had the freedom to read a good book and to work on my next book whenever I wanted. It's a great feeling!

I have never done a survey of billionaires about their preferences for charitable giving, but I suspect that many would be glad to send a check for $5,000 just to avoid having to go to a boring dinner. The wealthiest people I know go to such events only because a close friend to whom they owe a favor asks them to do so. Otherwise, they wouldn't attend. It's not that they are not charitable. The people I know have donated over $100,000,000 each to worthy causes. They do feel picked on when it comes to charity . . . feeling a bit like the bull's eye in the dart board as fund raisers flock to their door.

And do you know what the worst part is? As one wealthy friend of mine confessed, "The money piles up so fast that you cannot give it away as fast as it piles up . . . so the pressure from fund raisers just gets worse and worse."

Compare that comment to the warm feeling you get when you hand over $5 for the Salvation Army kettle at Christmas. Someone will probably say, "God bless you." And the thanks will be sincere. The good feeling will stay with you every time you see another kettle throughout the holiday season.

Ah! Now that's the good life.

Donald W. Mitchell, Your Dream Concierge

Copyright 2005 Donald W. Mitchell

Be sure to check out my blog dated May 30, 2005 on Plan Your Best Fourth of July! To find that blog, keep clicking on the oldest blog entry you can find in the right hand column until you find the title "Plan Your Best Fourth of July."