Great Child Care That's Affordable!

Good morning, Live Better than a Billionaire-a-Holics!

Are you feeling motivated this morning? I certainly hope so. I know that I am!

As preparation for this blog entry, let me mention that I have two sons, a daughter and a step-daughter. Also, my wife and I have had many friends who have used child care over the last 33 years. From those experiences, I have developed some strong opinions about what the best choices are . . . and aren't.

Child care is pretty simple if you are a billionaire. You can do whatever you want. You can raise your children yourself. You can raise your children and have an assistant to help you. You can have people play special roles as tutors and drivers. Essentially, you are only limited by your imagination and your own character.

It's in that area of character that billionaires can go wrong. If you read biographies of billionaires, you often find that their relationships with their offspring weren't very good. The usual problem is a lack of emotional support. That's a good point to keep in mind in thinking about child care. If children receive lots of emotional support, many of their other issues seem to take care of themselves.

Many parents will tell you that they would like to raise their children themselves . . . especially those who didn't have such a wonderful family life when they were growing up. Some of these parents are well read, patient and have an enthusiasm for the job. Yet few parents with that yen will exercise it.

Why? Typically, there are three issues. First, if a parent spends 15-25 years raising children, the career choices become limited at the end of the time. Second, many parents want a little more stimulation than watching Teletubbies provides. Third, a nicer life style can be afforded if there are two incomes at higher levels.

Let me address those issues. Today, more and more people work at home rather than away from home. More people are starting up their own businesses. More companies are allowing telecommuting. There are more part-time income sources that can be pursued at home. If you think that a home-based career might be for you, you have better child care choices. A lot of "work at home" jobs can be done anytime 24/7. For example, I teach part-time at Rushmore University (www.rushmore.edu -- a great place to earn an inexpensive graduate degree) which is an on-line school. I can log on and teach anytime I want . . . and not teach when I don't want. If I still had small children at home, I could take care of them when they are awake and work on my teaching while they are sleeping. The message here is to look into career choices that are compatible with being a caring, available parent at home.

Children need the most at-home parenting before they start first grade. Many parents could choose to tackle college or graduate programs for themselves on a part-time (or on-line) basis while their children are young. Many people don't realize that non-professional graduate schools (such as Ph.D. programs) are free. This education can make the young parenting years very intellectually stimulating for the parent, and provide a career boost for later on when the parent has more mobility choices. For a parent with an interest in childhood education or medical care, this can be a remarkably synergistic combination.

On the life style front, it's worth taking some time to run the numbers. Child care is paid for with after-tax dollars. You also have expenses to work at many jobs which may include a work wardrobe, commuting, lunches away from home. Unless both parents are earning very high incomes, the net earnings for the lower paid parent after deducting expense and taxes often come out to less than five dollars an hour. Compare that to what could be earned by working at home, and you may find that you are costing your household money by working outside the home. That's okay if it's your preference . . . but I don't want you to think you are making an economic decision when you are really making a life style decision.

If you do decide to raise your own children, both parents would do well to have jobs that keep them at or near home with regular hours as much as possible. Children have two parents for a reason, and both should participate as much as possible in child rearing. One of my sons and daughter-in-law work at museum jobs. The museums literally lock them out at 5 p.m. for security purposes. So I know that they can almost always be home at a reasonable hour. Now, that's the kind of job I would have liked to have had when I was younger! Another of my sons is a nurse. He works at night on 12 hours shifts, but only works every other day. If he marries another nurse, for example, with a complementary schedule, one or the other of them can always be home with their children.

Let's assume for the moment that both parents are going to work outside the home. What choices do they have for in-home child care? The best one that I know of was one that my wife enjoyed as a child. Her grandmother lived with her and took care of her while her Mom was out working as a lawyer or was simply running errands. Grandparents and children do well together (although the grandchildren do get more than a little spoiled). I also remember times when my grandparents took care of me. I loved it! You don't have to have your grandparents living with you to do this . . . but you do need them nearby. Coordinate your living plans with your parents, and you will have more choices for child care. You can also do similar things with your siblings where cousins spend a lot of time together in one another's homes.

Although most people don't want to take their children away from home (especially when one of them is sick), a few wildly visionary companies provide an amazing perk -- on-premise, high quality child care. A friend of ours who works in Rhode Island has this wonderful circumstance. Her two children go to work with her every day, and she can drop by the child care center to have lunch or snacks with them . . . or just to help during a tough day. When you think about employers, think about child care first!

The next best choice is child care in someone's home that's near to your work. When I was first starting up my consulting practice, my wife found a child care service that was located two blocks from my office which was run by two delightful young women. I took my sons to child care every morning, and their mother picked them up in the afternoon. If something came up, I could be over to help out within 10 minutes. Many a tearful incident was happily resolved after I arrived. We also had the children over for office visits and let them make copies of their hands and faces. They loved it!

From there, you find yourself dealing with people who come into your home. Most people don't want to live in your home because they want their independence. The ones who are willing to live in your home usually do so because they don't realize that they won't like it . . . or because they can't get another job. In either case it's a bad idea. Friends have occasionally succeeded in finding virtually sainted people to do this work. Those wonderful people were usually either single women with grown children who enjoyed child rearing or were women from poor countries outside the United States who wanted to learn English and become either a permanent resident or a citizen. If you don't attract such people, you can expect that you will go through live-in help about 1-2 times a year, and the endings will often not be very pretty. I recommend against this route.

Think baby sitters instead. Many outstanding people are willing to baby sit. And you can often repay a neighbor by baby sitting for their children . . . rather than having to pay for services. This is a particularly good choice for after school before a parent arrives home from work. Many schools also offer after-school hours programs that fulfill the same purpose, but these are generally pretty pricy.

Your community can also be a resource. Many churches and synagogues can be persuaded to put in fine child care programs as long as someone organizes the activity. You can be that person. With a lot of other parents to help you, you can hire top people and be able to have great confidence in what takes place. If your house of worship is nearby, this can be a great resource (keep that in mind when you choose a place to live).

If you can pay a lot of money (and I mean a lot!), there is also a small group of professionally trained English nannies (think Mary Poppins). They are hard to hire, and mostly work for the wealthy. I suggest that you forget that choice . . . but it's fun to dream about.

May you find a great child care solution!

Please add comments about other choices that you have found that are inexpensive and delightful for all.

Tomorrow, I will discuss ways you can use library books to improve the quality of your life.

Saturday, we'll take a walk together to explore inexpensive, healthy exercise.

On Sunday, I'll look at the spiritual benefits of weight control.

Monday, we'll look into how teaching can make you smarter than a billionaire on five dollars extra a day.

Tuesday, let's consider ways to prepare for spending less on costly heating this winter now that oil prices are going through the roof.

Wednesday, I'll look more closely at how to prepare for the college football season.

Next Thursday, this blog will explore new ways of promoting your ideas for less than five dollars extra a day.

Next Friday, I'll tell you about an exciting new and inexpensive way for people with dyslexia to learn to read well.

Next Saturday, I'll share with you how you can automatically water your indoor plants while you are away . . . so you can give your butler and maid time off while you're away!

Please let me know what else you would like to learn, and I'll do my best to help in future blog entries.

If you are new to this blog, be sure to check out the updated table of contents entry that was posted on August 24. It will help you find earlier entries that may be of interest. I'll update this table of contents every week or so for your convenience.

August 17 was the most frequently read blog entry to date. Be sure to check it out!

Thanks so much for your support of this blog. I'm delighted that so many thousands of people have made this blog part of their regular reading habit!

If you like this blog, please let others know who might also enjoy it.

Thank you to my many friends, students, clients and blog readers who are spreading the good word about this blog.

If you are visiting today because someone invited you, I'm delighted to meet you! Let's stay in touch.

May God bless you.

Donald W. Mitchell, Your Dream Concierge

Copyright 2005 Donald W. Mitchell