Get Acquainted at a Personal Level – Discussing Shakespeare with Sulu (George Takei)

Good morning, Live Better than a Billionaire-a-Holics!

The big event at a Renaissance Weekend is the New Year’s Eve dinner and panel discussions. Only the best, most humorous speakers are invited. During former president Clinton’s term in office, he and his wife, Senator Clinton, would take the stage to opine and answer questions for hours. Naturally, everyone wanted a good seat.

We were six Mitchells that year, which took up all but two places at a table for eight up front. Many latecomers were shy about moving to the front of the room, so we still had two empty chairs as dinner was about to be served. A polite, familiar voice from behind me asked me if we minded if he and his companion joined us. Naturally, I acquiesced, turned around and gradually began to realize that George Takei, Sulu in the original Star Trek series, was going to be joining us. George sat down next to me.

Since no one in our family had seen less than a dozen repeats of each episode in the series, we were all well aware of who he was. My whole family froze. They didn’t know what they say. I asked George what he was working on now, and he told me that he would soon appear in a Shakespearean production. He was excited about the chance to play such a difficult role and was looking forward to the sword play, which had occasionally been part of his Star Trek roles. From there, we discussed Shakespeare, acting and directing (which he had done as well) for well over two hours until the program began. It was marvelous. And you know, we never mentioned Star Trek once. I think George enjoyed the occasion as much as we did. I was proud of my children for remembering not to ask him for an autograph.

George greeted us and chatted in a cheery fashion whenever we saw him for the rest of our visit. We did find ourselves using the Vulcan greeting from time to time in our family . . . but we didn't do it when George was around.

I wanted to share this story so you will know what a good guy George Takei is. But I also had a more practical purpose, to introduce the topic of etiquette to follow with your celebrity guests.

There’s a delicate balance involved in becoming acquainted with people who are in the public eye. They naturally value their privacy, but many also welcome genuine contacts from those who are interested in them as people rather than as celebrities. They will usually be gracious whether you approach them as a fan or as a person who wants to become acquainted with them. Unless the celebrity is seeking adulation though, you probably won't see them again unless you can provide them room to be themselves.

Here are some good icebreakers. If you are with an actor or actress, don't ask them about their last role (or next one) as the first thing you say. Ask them if they are looking into starting any new hobbies. Chances are that you will tap into a geyser of enthusiasm when you do. Actors and actresses aren't usually busy, except at the peak of their popularity, and have lots of time to take up new avocations . . . many of which are fascinating.

Some celebrities are unbelievably shy. Until I had been with a few who trembled before meeting the public, I would never have realized that. When you have found such a shrinking violet, smile broadly and be sure to introduce the celebrity in a welcoming way to all in the vicinity. Soon, their butterflies will start to leave and you'll all have a great time.

Pay attention to their signals. I once was sitting in first class on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. I had the aisle seat and I was hoping that the window seat would stay open so I could stretch out. But Dick Cavett, the former talk show host, was destined for that place. He sat down, turned his head and body towards the window . . . and looked very uncomfortable. He gave a good impression of someone who was about to be attacked by a bear. I ignored him (as I assumed he wanted). The only thing that was hard to ignore were the flight attendants who spent most of the next several hours leaning over me to touch him. After about four hours, whatever was bothering him seemed to pass. He turned to me suddenly, smiled and introduced himself. We had a marvelous chat from there about classical music which we both enjoy. It was delightful. I suspect I was being rewarded for leaving him alone earlier. He's obviously a very private person and needed his space (which is hard to give someone in an airplane).

Also, avoid creating awkward situations. At Renaissance Weekends, the teenagers run their own New Year's Eve party. Some of them want to do inappropriate things. One year, my just-turned-twenty-one son was asked to buy a lot of alcohol for the party that would be mostly attended by younger people. He turned them down, realizing that there was potential for bad publicity if something unfortunate happened with these children of celebrities. It was a dry year, but there were no tears either. Everyone had a good time.

My favorite etiquette example is a golfing one. Former president Clinton loves to play golf. At Renaissance Weekends, the weather can be up and down at New Year's. But for several years, it was quite good. My family had tee times every day, being avid golfers. For several days running, our tee time followed the Clinton tee time. It's quite a production for a president of the United States to play golf. There are enough Secret Service agents to storm and carry a small city. The black bags they carry don't have gym clothes in them.

Normally, it's a good idea to stay well back of a foursome ahead of you. Otherwise, you might hit someone with a golf ball. But what do you do about the Secret Service?

At first, we waited until the Secret Service left the green and then hit on. After a while we became bolder. Since the Secret Service was spread out in a wide fan well away from the hole and the president was gone, we decided to hit to the green while these guards were still securing the perimeter.

Unfortunately, I hit a shot that went wayward . . . about 50 feet over the head of an agent. I yelled "fore" and obviously didn't hit anyone. Thank God. When I came up to him, I apologized. He turned to me and said, "Do you mind if I shoot back next time?" He was carrying an automatic weapon of impressive heft. I blanched and we played well back after that.

The lesson: Give celebrities . . . and their guards . . . plenty of elbow room!

Donald W. Mitchell, Your Dream Concierge

Copyright 2005 Donald W. Mitchell

Be sure to check out my blog dated May 30, 2005 on Plan Your Best Fourth of July! To find that blog, keep clicking on the oldest blog entry you can find in the right hand column until you find the title "Plan Your Best Fourth of July."